Friend Gets Jealous When I Want to Spend Time With Family

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It'due south natural to have a number of friends in your life. If your friends all get along well, that's swell. Just sometimes friends don't get forth, which tin can be hard if you feel stuck in the middle. When i friend becomes jealous of your other friends, information technology can take a serious toll on your relationship. Only with a trivial effort and planning, you tin can make this better.

1. i

   Invite your friend to join the group. This might feel difficult if your friend has made occasions with your other friends uncomfortable in the past. However, stay positive. If your friend knows they're wanted in a situation, they may exist less likely to human action out of jealousy.^[1]

   • Don't remind your friend of times they may have fabricated social situations uncomfortable in the past. This may make them experience more insecure virtually re-entering a state of affairs similar that.
   • Emphasize that it'southward their choice. They don't demand to experience obligated to hang out if the idea makes them uncomfortable.
   • If your friend has been cruel or manipulative to your other friends in the past, inviting them to bring together the group may do more damage than good.

2. 2

   Help boost your friend'south confidence. Jealousy is usually a sign that someone feels insecure. Helping your friend build self-esteem may assist some of their jealous feelings subside.^[ii]

   • Tell your friend things yous appreciate about them. Information technology's great if you can emphasize reasons you lot value spending fourth dimension with them.
   • Yous tin say something like, "You're and so funny. That's part of why information technology's so fun to spend time with you." Or, y'all can offer something similar, "You lot always have such expert ideas of where to go to eat."

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3. three

   Let them know there's no need to feel threatened. A friend who is jealous of your other friends may think that your other friends are more than valuable to you. Permit your friend know that you're non planning to replace them with other friends.^[three]

   • Even if your friend hasn't said it, they may be agape yous're going to forget them or abandon the friendship. Make it clear that this isn't truthful.
   • You can say something like, "I really like hanging out with my other friends, merely it'southward always more than fun when yous're around." You can also say, "I really hope you'll desire to hang out with all of us. I miss you lot when you're not around."

4. 4

   Choose an activeness that will be comfortable for them. If you truly want to include your friend, make sure you invite them to do something that they would enjoy. Otherwise, y'all could end up fueling their feelings of insecurity and jealousy.^[iv]

   • Choose a place that's piece of cake for your friend to get to, and where they feel comfortable. For example, don't cull somewhere that is close to you and your other friends only a long bus ride from where your friend lives.
   • Pick something that you already know they savor. For instance, don't invite them over to play a game that your other friends know but your one friend doesn't. If you're going to become out to consume, yous can ask your 1 friend to option the restaurant.
   • You want your friend to feel comfortable, only you don't desire them to accept all of the control. Brand sure you're not existence manipulated into simply doing any this one friend wants to practise.

5. 5

   Exist yourself when combining friend groups. If you haven't spent much time with your ane friend and the rest of your friends together, you might feel a piddling uncomfortable at starting time. Stay true to yourself. Don't worry almost how your friends may expect you to behave.^[5]

   • If you lot take inside jokes with a certain friend, yous can acknowledge them without excluding the others. You can merely say, "I'k distressing. That was just a reference to something funny that happened to us last calendar week." Or, if it makes sense, you could take the time to explain the joke.
   • If a friend accuses you lot of not interim genuinely, you can explain yourself. For instance, if a friend says, "I thought you didn't like those kinds of movies," you can explain that, "I really take started watching movies like that recently and I do like them. I guess I merely oasis't talked to you near it."

6. half dozen

   Remind your friend that you value them and your other friends. The great thing near friendship is that you tin can have multiple friends. Allow your friend know that it's important to you to take friendships that don't threaten each other.^[half-dozen]

   • Always make sure your friend knows what you value about them. If they are a reliable, helpful friend, tell them and give thanks them for that.
   • You can also gently let them know what you lot like nigh your other friends. Y'all can say, "I really enjoy the intellectual conversations I have with that person. I don't demand to do that all the fourth dimension, only I similar getting to engage that way occasionally."

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1. 1

   Choose a time to talk to them. Make sure they know that you'd like to take an important conversation. Yous don't want them to feel defenseless off guard. Enquire them when would exist a good time. ^[seven]

   • Make sure you'll take enough time to have the conversation without it feeling rushed.
   • Choose a place where you tin can speak privately and comfortably.

2. two

   Permit your friend know that their jealousy is hurtful for you. Be honest without being accusatory. You lot don't take to place judgements on their behavior; you tin can merely talk most how you feel.^[8]

   • Utilise "I" Statements. Instead of saying, "You lot make situations with my other friends unpleasant," yous can say, "I experience awkward when we're with my other friends and you lot comment on their clothes." Instead of maxim, "You're too needy," you can say, "I don't feel like the energy I give to this friendship is satisfying to you."
   • Mention specific examples, if you tin can. You can say something like, "When you suggested that I skip my friend'southward birthday party, I felt that yous didn't want me to socialize with people who are of import to me."

3. three

   Permit them know you lot appreciate their strengths. Your friend may be feeling particularly vulnerable at this bespeak. Make certain they know that you value their friendship considering of their wonderful qualities.^[9]

   • Remind your friend of things you share in mutual, especially if it'due south something unique. You could say something like, "Y'all're one of the only people I can share my passion for rugby with."
   • Show them that you appreciate their positive qualities. Say something similar, "I've ever valued how great y'all are at problem solving. I actually appreciate that about you."

4. 4

   Tell them that you demand them to trust your friendship. It'southward great that you lot're making these efforts to restore your friendship. However, your friend needs to do some of that piece of work too. Let them know that they need to have organized religion in your friendship in social club to meet you halfway.^[10]

   • If your friend can't piece of work on their own jealousy, the friendship may not terminal much longer. You can gently say something similar, "I accept a hard fourth dimension dealing with this jealousy. I hope you tin can work on it, so that nosotros tin can proceed beingness good friends."
   • Exist assertive. Allow them know that trust is important in a friendship, and that it's a two-way street.

5. five

   Continue to show them that you're even so invested in the friendship. At the finish of the conversation, make plans to spend time together again before long. This volition allow your friend know that you don't plan to end the friendship.^[eleven]

   • Ask your friend how they'd similar to spend time with you. This shows that yous want them to be getting something out of the relationship.
   • Send a text or e-post later that day thanking them for the conversation. Reiterate that you are grateful for their friendship.

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1. 1

   Consider if you definitely desire to end the friendship. Ending a friendship can be as hard as ending a romantic human relationship. Don't take the decision lightly. Before you decide to cease a friendship, consider if there are any alternatives.You may but need to limit the fourth dimension yous spend with this person.^[12]

   • Even if a friendship is hard, it may be worth preserving if you have many mutual friends, or if you piece of work together. Otherwise, ending the friendship could cause ongoing tension that you can't get away from.
   • You can attempt taking some space away from this friend to come across how your social life feels without that relationship. You can tell your friend you program to take some time away from them, or simply do then without mentioning it.

2. 2

   Do what you will say to your friend. Breaking upward is a fragile business. Prepare yourself past knowing exactly what you lot plan to say. You can even write out a script for yourself to practise from.^[13]

   • If you do write out a script, don't bring it with yous to the conversation.
   • If an in-person conversation feels too scary, you can write a thoughtful alphabetic character or electronic mail to your friend explaining your position. You can make up one's mind whether to ask for some infinite temporarily, or to let them know that the friendship is over.

3. three

   Emphasize your responsibility for the decision. Your friend will probable experience saddened and rejected by this turn of events. Don't make it worse by blaming them for your determination. Emphasize that this is something that y'all demand to exercise for your ain well-being.^[14]

   • Use "I" statements to avert blame. You can say, "I really need to experience comfortable having multiple friendships, so this is a determination I need to make."
   • You can also express your feelings almost the determination. You tin say, "I feel distressing that nosotros can't be as shut as we used to be, only I don't recollect spending so much time together is healthy for me."

4. iv

   Exist honest, simply gentle. Remember that this is someone you've been close to. You don't want to injure their feelings needlessly. Too, if they've been acting jealous, chances are that they're already feeling insecure.^[15]

   • Y'all can say something like, "This is a really difficult matter for me to practise, but I know that our relationship isn't a healthy one."
   • If yous're asked for an explanation or examples, offer them. It may exist helpful for your friend to hear concrete reasons that the friendship needs to alter.

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• Recollect earlier you decide to limit or end a friendship. It can be very difficult for a relationship to bounce dorsum from that, so be sure earlier you brand a move.

• Remember that jealousy well-nigh always comes from insecurity. And then e'er piece of work to bolster your friend's conviction and let them know how much y'all value them.

• Recall that about everyone gets jealous at some point in their lives. Try to take compassion for what your friend is going through.

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• Don't discuss your friend's jealousy with your other friends. This can atomic number 82 your friend to feel even more insecure.

• Never bring up your other friends' opinions of your friend. For example, never say something like, "everyone else has noticed, too."

• If your other friends have noticed your friend's jealous behavior and mentioned it to yous, you should consider taking activeness soon.

• If your friend threatens to hurt you, your friends, or themselves, they may need assistance. Jealousy should never lead to violence or emotional abuse.

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Article Summary X

If i of your friends is jealous, try including them in more than of your activities If you think they are jealous considering they are insecure, point out the things you like about them, like their sense of humour or intelligence. Make it clear that you value them just equally much every bit anyone else by trying to choose activities they enjoy, only don't feel similar you have to make everything near them. For more tips from our reviewer on dealing with a jealous friend, including how to talk to your friend almost it and when to cease an unhealthy friendship, read more than!

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Source: https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Your-Friend-Who-Is-Being-Jealous-of-Your-Other-Friends

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